The Stages of Holiday Parking

(in the style of The Stages of Grief)

SHOCK
"Oh. My. Gosh. I have never seen a parking lot so full. This is ridiculous! Can you believe how many people there are here today?"

DENIAL
"No, it's not as bad as it seems. There is a parking spot right around the corner, I JUST KNOW IT!"

ANGER
"Why me? Why can I not find a spot? I only have one gift certificate to buy!"
"No, I will NOT let you in!" (followed by horn honking, mild obscenities, and general gestures of ill will).

BARGAINING
"Please God, help me find a parking spot. It doesn't even have to be a good one. Anywhere will do. If I get a spot, I promise I will give coins to the Salvation Army bell-ringer next time I see him instead of averting my eyes."

DEPRESSION
"Well, I am never going to find a spot, it's over for me. I should just give up now."

TESTING
"Statistically, what are my chances of getting that spot if I can pull out of line and jump that snow-covered island?"

ACCEPTANCE
(After spotting a space and some shrieks of relief, pumpings of fists, and tears of joy) "YES! GET IT! FINALLY A COVETED SPOT!"

by Cassie, Sarah, and Gala Bing.